|
|
| hally | "We have, officially, HT" - Jamie | | |
| hally | Random number generation is too important to be left to chance | | |
| hally | Measure Twice. Cut Once. | | |
| hally | It's all fun and games, until, someone loses an eye. | | |
| Zappally | Keep it simple and then it will get built !! | | |
| Zappally | You mean its time to give him a bloody good british style thrashing?...six of the best..trousers down? | | |
| Alan | "come to kindly terms with your ass, for it bears you" - John Muir | | |
| Kenny | "It's got to be madness" - John Forbes | | |
| billzmybug | I'm not Xenophobic, I just hate the French.... | | |
| Alan | "never cut towards your thumb, always cut towards your chum" - Dougie | | |
| Zappally | measure,measure,cut,grind,test fit,grind, hit/bash,grind,test fit,bash,grind,swear,grind,swear again,bash some more,tack weld,bash,weld...........'there, i told you it fits!' | | |
| Davey | Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. | | |
| Davey | If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now | | |
| Davey | A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. | | |
| martin | Its not unreliable - its called "character"........ | | |
| ni | If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? | | |
| Zappally | A conclusion is the place you reach when you get tired of thinking | | |
| Zappally | The point of mistakes is to keep life interesting | | |
| Zappally | Perseverance makes impossible meaningless | | |
| Zappally | Inspiration comes from every experience of life | | |
| Zappally | If it weren't for the last minute. Nothing would get done | | |
| Davey | How would you like your steak? Cut the horns of it and wipe its A£&% | | |
| bugtastic | if all else fails read the instructions!!!!! | | |
| bugtastic | there's cheap and there's cheap | | |
| bugtastic | nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie | | |
| martin | This car's great - its even got somewhere for my cup of tea in the engine bay | | |
| Alan | There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness" | | |
| Alan | Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark - a large group of professionals built the Titanic | | |
| martin | "It's better than the Bluesmobile - the cigarette lighter's great..." Alex | | |
| Davey | trust no one but your mother and yourself, but always be dubious about yourself | | |
| Davey | age and deciet will always beat youth and skill anyday | | |
| Davey | Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. | | |
| Davey | The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." | | |
| Zappally | Rules are for fools & the guidance of wise men | | |
| seamonsta | Religious wars are just groups of people fighting over who has the best imaginary friend | | |
| icedmk2 | life is not defined by how many breaths you take, it defined by the times life takes your breath away! | | |
| Jamie | Smile, it confuses people. | | |
| Kenny | The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead! | | |
| Kenny | Sanity is a madness put to good use | | |
| Kenny | Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. | | |
| Kenny | Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. | | |
| Kenny | Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... | | |
| Kenny | A little knowledge is a dangerous thing! | | |
| Kenny | If in doubt, cut it out! – Keith on bodywork. | | |
| Kenny | Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. | | |
| mark | one world,one love,one bug | | |
| Jamie | "The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once." Samuel Smiles. | | |
| Alan | Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. | | |
| keith | A Ford fiesta is wrong on so many levels | | |
| Davey | sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope | | |
| Davey | My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." | | |
| Davey | "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. | | |
| Jamie | The internet is so big, so powerful and so pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. | | |
| keith | If only VWs new cars were built as good as there old ones I would have bought one years ago! | | |
| Kenny | I am not a number - I'm a free man! | | |
| Alan | “There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting, and motor racing. All the rest are merely games.” Ernest Hemingway | | |
| vwboarderx | There is nothing common about sense | | |
| jigs | " Remember there are 2 ends to that " my dad | | |
| seamonsta | Wisdom usually comes with age, but sometimes age just shows up alone... | | |
| Kenny | The problem with getting old is that you get stiff in the wrong places. | | |
| seamonsta | Good judgment comes from experience - experience comes from bad judgment! | | |
| seamonsta | Never forget that you are totally unique - just like everyone else... | | |
| Davey | I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. | | |
| Davey | It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. | | |
| Davey | "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'." | | |
| Davey | Don't count the days, make the days count | | |
| cisco kid | Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination- oscar wylde | | |
| seamonsta | "He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy!" | | |
| seamonsta | You can live in your Van, but you can't race your house. | | |
| Kenny | "If you hit the nail on the head, you'll knock it in." - My Dad | | |
| Zappally | The only difference between martydom and suicide is press coverage | | |
| keith | "the older I get the more I realise how little I know and the less I care" | | |
| mkid | same shit different day | | |
| mkid | get of your horse and drink your beer | | |
| mkid | get in the back of the van!!! | | |
| cisco kid | I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce | | |
| mkid | how hard can it be | | |
| mkid | you can call me pops | | |
| mkid | i'm just going to chop the roof off | | |
| keith | The older you get, the more interested in history you become, but the less time you have to make some. | | |
| euan scott | "wife asks how much was that ? i say i got it for nothing" | | |
| cisco kid | you're about as much fun as mumps! | | |
| scotlandstu | Electrical things run on smoke, if it gets out they stop working. | | |
| seamonsta | 'Good Character' means doing the right thing even when no-one's looking. | | |
| seamonsta | The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for... | | |
| cisco kid | "have the olympics not been held in greece before like?" - bloke in my local | | |
| Alan | "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler" - A. Einstein | | |
| Rhod G | "What date is Boxing Day this year?" - Bloke in Edinburgh Council Canteen | | |
| cisco kid | He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. | | |
| seamonsta | All of you who believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand... | | |
| seamonsta | When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong bloody lane! | | |
| seamonsta | What happens if you get scared half to death - twice?? | | |
| seamonsta | 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. | | |
| seamonsta | Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have! | | |
| seamonsta | Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. | | |
| seamonsta | Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines... | | |
| seamonsta | A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory... | | |
| seamonsta | The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. | | |
| seamonsta | Always remember - half the people you know are below average. | | |
| seamonsta | Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happenned??" | | |
| Westair | When in doubt-panic | | |
| soluto_de_lugol | Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | "The second coming of Christ". That guy never really had much sex now, did he? | | |
| soluto_de_lugol | I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself. | | |
| vwboarderx | TARDIS This Ass Dumps In Space- Neil Armstrongs real first words | | |
| Bravo1 | Hate the sin, love the sinner | | |
| Bravo1 | Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress | | |
| Alan | On average, the people of Britain have marginally less than one testicle. | | |
| kaferkopf | The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. | | |
| kaferkopf | Would a fly without wings be called a walk? | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | Bays are for people that just can't afford a splitty. T25s are for people that just don't care about suchs things | | |
| 75swampy | I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb! | | |
| vwboarderx | Everybody is working hard or hardly working | | |
| mkid | i hope the sun shines today | | |
| mkid | who is that guy | | |
| cisco kid | john smeaton can believe its not butter. | | |
| cisco kid | a good friend will come bail you out of jail. a true friend will be sat next to you sayin "damn.... we f*cked up." | | |
| cisco kid | Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. | | |
| cisco kid | Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. | | |
| keith | Opinions are like assholes, everybodys got one (Clint Eastwood) | | |
| cisco kid | It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road | | |
| metalbasher | its a small world.....but i wouldnt want to paint it. | | |
| metalbasher | where would we be without a sense of humour?..........germany. | | |
| cisco kid | the shop is open but there's nobody serving | | |
| metalbasher | im still having sex at 85...................i live at 84 so its not far to go. | | |
| soluto_de_lugol | Always listen to the van needs first, for it will never ask you for a divorce and leave you with half your fortune. | | |
| mkid | Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die! | | |
| mkid | However long the night, the dawn will break. | | |
| mkid | Rising early makes the road short. - Wolof proverb, Senegal | | |
| seamonsta | When you appear in court, your fate is in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury service. | | |
| seamonsta | Those who live by the sword tend to get shot by those who don't. | | |
| seamonsta | The things that come to those who wait will be the unwanted crap left by those who got there first. | | |
| seamonsta | Only Irish coffee provides all four essential food groups in a single glass : alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat! | | |
| ashleigh1972 | "we dont argue we discuss LOUDLY" | | |
| Davey | If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer. | | |
| Davey | Coffee isn't my cup of tea. | | |
| Davey | Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. | | |
| Davey | If you want to make enemies, try to change something. | | |
| Davey | A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. | | |
| billyz3 | Why use a thousand words when F&%* off will do? – Exceptional Guitarist | | |
| billyz3 | Where's the engine? | | |
| cisco kid | "May the Wombat of Happiness snuffle through your underbrush." | | |
| metalbasher | i,ll never forget my grandads last words......AAAAAAHHH! A TRUCK! | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | It's better to have loved and lost, than to be lost forever....where the hell am I? | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | Ik kan nu wel lekker een end in 't Nederlands gaan lullen, maar dat schiet ook weer voor geen meter op! | | |
| ron | freedom until lost is seldom valued! | | |
| ron | the way you listen, speaks volumes! | | |
| seamonsta | Whisky may not cure the common cold, but it fails more agreeably than most other things! | | |
| seamonsta | When one engine fails on a twin-engine plane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash. | | |
| seamonsta | The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. | | |
| metalbasher | Life is about living single ,seeing double, and sleeping triple. | | |
| seamonsta | Junk is something you store for years but throw away the week before you actually need it! | | |
| seamonsta | "No - he didn't slam into you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... He RUBBED you! And rubbin, son, is racin'!" (Days Of Thunder) | | |
| seamonsta | Teenagers! Tired of being harassed by your stupid boring parents? Act Now! Move out, get a job, pay your own bills! Do it now - while you still know everything! | | |
| jigs | Who did eat all the pies????? | | |
| critters | Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? | | |
| critters | If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? | | |
| seamonsta | Callum decided to call his father-in-law the "Exorcist" because every time he came to visit, he made the spirits disappear.... | | |
| seamonsta | One day, Angus bought a bottle of fine whisky, and on his way home, he fell. Getting up, he felt something wet on his pants. He looked up at the sky and said, "Oh lord, I beg you, please let it be blood!" | | |
| cisco kid | He who laughs last, obviously didnt get the joke. | | |
| moanthebairns | How can you hang a man for shootin a woman who tried to steal his horse? (Red-Headed Stranger) | | |
| andy syncro-nutz | God loves idiots! He made millions of them! | | |
| cisco kid | Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall KILL you.... | | |
| DeanMachine | 'Laugh' ive never laughed so much since ma granny got her tits caught in the mangle. | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. | | |
| The Dutch Bloke | How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? | | |
