If you need some help transalting hwat the manulas tell you, here it is.
Hanes Manual Glossary
Before you attempt to carry out a procedure on your car using the appropriate Haynes manual the following glossary of terms may be useful;
Haynes = Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation = Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.
Haynes = This is a snug fit.
Translation = Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes = This is a tight fit.
Translation = Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes = As described in Chapter 7…
Translation = That’ll teach you not to read through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes = Pry…
Translation = Hammer a screwdriver into…
Haynes = Undo…
Translation = Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).
Haynes = Retain circlip…
Translation = PINGGGG - “Where the hell did that go?”
Haynes = Press and rotate to remove bulb…
Translation = OK - that’s the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).
Haynes = Lightly…
Translation = Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing, then clamp with mole grips, then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes = Weekly checks…
Translation = If it isn’t broken don’t fix it.
Haynes = Routine maintenance…
Translation = If it isn’t broken, it’s about to be. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Haynes = One spanner rating.
Translation = An infant could do this… so how did you manage to **** it up?
Haynes = Two spanner rating.
Translation = Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number… but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes = Three spanner rating.
Translation = Make sure you won’t need your car for a couple of days.
Haynes = Four spanner rating.
Translation = You’re not seriously considering this are you?
Haynes = Five spanner rating.
Translation = OK - but don’t ever carry your loved ones in it again.
Haynes = Compress…
Translation = Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, and then find some mole grips and a hammer…
Haynes = Inspect…
Translation = Squint at it really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife “Yep, as I thought, it’s going to need a new one”
Haynes = Carefully…
Translation = You are about to suffer deep abrasions.
Haynes = Retaining nut…
Translation = Yes, that’s it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes = Refit in the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation = Yeah, right.
Haynes = Prise away plastic locating pegs…
Translation = Snap off plastic locating pegs…
Haynes = Using a suitable drift…
Translation = Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes = Everyday toolkit
Translation = RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes = Apply moderate heat…
Translation = Unless you have a blow torch, clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes = Index
Translation = List of all the things in the book, except what you need to do.