Is this the future

A little boy asks his father how he was born.

“Well, son,” his Dad replies, “I guess you’ll need to know one day.”

“Your Mum and I got together in a chatroom. I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cybercafe. We then sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.”

“As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered neither of us had used a firewall. And since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and announced: “You’ve got male!””

did you make that one up. you should get your self into the comedy festival. a Perrier Comedy Award could be yours.lol use the link its your future.

he works in comedy already. every day from 9-5 :lol:

2 sad jokes in a row bet simon likes them tho :stuck_out_tongue:

mark he keeps telling me he is no technically minded !!!

gotta do something to keep the forum going, nowt much else seems to happen here

one for the auld boys

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,“OK old fart, time for you to retire.”
The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?” The young rooster says, “Beat it:
You are washed up and I am taking over…” The old rooster says, “I tell
you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.”
The young rooster laughs. “You know you don’t stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.”
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The
farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by.

He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

“Darn…third gay rooster I bought this month.”

Moral of this story? …Don’t mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always
overcome youth and arrogance!

ok if thats the kind of jokes we have to suffer just shut the forum down now!!!

i knew mine were corny but that last one was S&*$ :rasp

Thomas the Tank Engine

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
train stop and her son saying, “All of you bds who want off, get
the f
k off now, cause we’re in a hurry! And all of you b
ds who
are getting on, get the f
k on, cause we’re going down the tracks”.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, “We don’t use that kind
of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay
there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play With your
train,but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing
withhis train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
“All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take
all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us
today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.”
She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we
ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under Your seat. Remember,
there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and
relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child
added…

“For those of you who are pied off about the TWO HOUR delay, please
see the fat b
ch in the kitchen.”

OH NAW

thats poor
come on mark you can do better than that!!!

i have faith in you !!!

put your :think cap on

:lol:

well I enjoyed those (its been a while since i’ve heard them both) :wink: